Apocalypse Problems


I’ve Bludgeoned a Zombie With My Seasoned Skillet; Do I Have To Use Soap to Clean It?

There Are Axes Breaking Down the Front Door; Is Now Really The Time to Clean Out the Hall Closet?

We Have Been On the Run for Two Consecutive Weeks, But My Fitbit Isn’t Tracking All My Steps.

This Tire Fire is Warm, But I Have Some Questions About the Environmental Impact.

I Don’t Know if Schools Should Re-Open Or Not, But I Don’t Think We Should Exclude People With Zombie Antibodies.

Why Am I The Only One In This Entire House Who Knows How To Log Into Zoombie?

Can Cats Be Zombies Or Is This Cat Weird?

Should I Be Worried About Canning My Heirloom Produce Over The Tire Fire?

How Do We Still Have Microbreweries?

I’m Worried About the Sludge Pit.

Will a Pinch of Salt Help Hide the Sludge Taste in Coffee?

If the Sludge is Organic, is that Ok?

Sludge Face Mask?

It Might Be End Times, But Surely You Can See the Toilet Needs Scrubbing.

I Don’t Care if You’re Convinced You’re A Zombie Now, It’s Not “Babysitting” When It’s Your Own Kids.

Is My IPhone Sending Biometric Data on My Neighborhood Zombies to the FBI?

Do Zombies have Hot Flashes or Is This Menopause?

Our Sludge-Positive Policies Have Decimated The Tuna Population and I Miss Sushi.

I Think a Zombie Stole My Rose Gold Birkenstocks; How Do I Get a Refund?

I’m Not Sure Mercury In Retrograde Explains The Zombies.

I Know You’re Tired Of It, We’re All Tired Of It, But Leaving the Door Open Won’t Keep the Zombies From Chopping It Down.

I Don’t Think I Have the Wherewithal to Read Managing Zombies.

As My Face Deteriorates, Will My Phone Still Recognize Me?


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