Last night I put the twins to sleep and came downstairs to meet Bob for some Paper Mario and a glass of wine. When I got to the kitchen, everything was still and quiet. I knew Bob wasn’t upstairs, and he apparently wasn’t downstairs, either. On the counter was a note, scrawled on the back of a piece of paper the kids had been scribbling on. It read, simply:

QUICK RUN!

I panicked.

The house was eerily quiet, the dog was circling nervously, and my husband had left me a note with clear instructions on how to preserve my life – but how to save the twins, who I had just put down to sleep and god help any intruder who disturbed them?

Also, why wouldn’t he stick around to defend us?

And one more thing, why take the time to underline it?

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Maybe he means that he went for a quick run. Maybe the all caps thing is just how he writes (because it is).

I got myself a glass of wine to see how this was going to play out, and it turned out he was just on a run. No murderers in the house at all.