WordPress lets you see the search terms people use when they end up on your blog (except in cases where the search engine doesn’t release those terms for privacy reasons).

The terms people have used to end up on my blog are… instructive. Clearly, people are getting here by accident. Let’s review!

Behr granite boulder (or some variant) counts for 28 search terms. Of course they’re looking for my in-depth opus here.

The Wizard of Oz counts for 3 terms. This is the next most plentiful search term, so clearly I am leading in the paint category. But they get this when they search that.

After that it’s just an interesting mess. Like, “things my dad never taught me” – close, but no cigar. Or “my little twins playing” – how about MY little twins playing? Baby-related queries make up 9 terms, but I’m not counting it because it is variously twins or babies, and not quite as cohesive.

A painful one is “try more harder grammar” – ouch. Not trying hard enough, I’d say.

Other ones are reflective of the types of things I search for, like “why don’t water droplets converge in clouds?” and “katniss everdeen likable character.”

Or my favorite: “ct scan of sociopath’s brain.” I can only imagine they were searching for this instead.