Today marks fifteen years since Bob and I got married. It’s been fun and not fun, good and not good, beautiful and not beautiful. But it’s been the better parts for nearly all of the time, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. It’s been a real honor to grow with Bob during these past fifteen years, and discovering how the hard and tedious parts of marriage (and parenting) make you so much better at it and a better partner (and parent) in the long run. It’s particularly exciting to feel like there’s so much more to discover about ourselves and each other, together. Bob is getting grey in his hair, and I gaze lovingly at the greys and think “those are mine, our life together grew those.” We’re a long way from old yet, and when you see someone every single day, you don’t see time passing. You just see them, the same, always. But when I see his grey hair, it immediately makes me think about what we were like fifteen years ago – or seventeen years ago when we began dating – or nearly twenty years ago when we met. We were so dumb! So beautiful, but we did not know anything. Life is a very long game (if you’re lucky), and you unlock more and more as you go. How boring it would be to know everything right away, and how lucky we were to be unknowing, so we could learn to know.

We moved last year to a new neighborhood, and we’re a little bit older than the other parents here, and our kids are a little bit older, too (well, not Grant, he’s right in the sweet spot). It’s fun to “look back” just a couple of years at these other moms and dads, and recognize that even though life can seem like it’s always the same, you are always changing and growing. Things that we had to do just a year or two or five ago, we no longer have to do, because the kids are older, or we’ve paid off student loans, or whatever. It always makes me happier and more grateful to have spent those years with Bob.

Also he sent me this, this morning, reminding me of my greatest failure as a wife.

We did not get married September first, but I forgot the number of the months (it is engraved in our wedding bands).

The traditional gift for fifteen is crystal. Crystal! In this house?! Could you imagine? We stopped getting each other presents some time ago (maybe right after our seventh anniversary…) and instead opted for experiences together. Later on in September, we’re going to see a concert together to celebrate our anniversary. As for this weekend, today Bob is taking Henry to Vegas to see Dead & Co at the Sphere, and they’ll be back on Sunday. So I’m going to order myself a nice dinner via doordash and be glad for myself, and for the experience that Bob and Henry will get to have together.

Happy anniversary!